Cheryl's Corner

I'm back

2006-09-19T10:42:00.000-07:00

Well, it's been awhile! I had to get all sorts of help to remember how to do this - and all my log-in info as well.

Since I was on here last, I've gone to school and gotten my state licensure to be a Massage Therapist and have worked in this field for a year this month. I love it!! I'm getting to meet so many nice people as I begin my practice. Of course, I'm only doing MT part time as my current position at the university will allow me full retirement in just over three years. I love this job as well, so I'm in a good situation right now!

I've also taken a couple of trips. In April of this year, my step-dtr, Jan, and I went to Wendover, Nevada, to pull a few handles and just have some good "girl time" together. We had a great trip and found that we are quite compatible traveling companions. Then in June, a gal pal from church and I ventured over to Branson, MO, for a few days of fun and frolic and concerts. We, too, are good traveling companions, and we had so much fun seeing the shows and SHOPPING til we dropped! There are three huge outlet malls there, and we made them all, on top of riding the Ducks, seeing six shows, and milling around Branson. We hope to go back soon - well, maybe in the spring? or maybe next summer? - to see the shows we wanted to see that time wouldn't permit.

Anyway, it's good to be back. Hopefully I'll be on here more and will post more often. :)

Let the Diet Begin!

2005-01-08T11:09:00.000-08:00

Well, today is the first day of my diet. I have two plans - one to spend this coming week on the cabbage soup diet to rid my system of all toxins, then turn to a low carb diet come next Saturday. I spent most of yesterday evening putting my soup together - my way, not the original recipe. I don't care for mushrooms or some of the other things it said to use, so I pulled up a "negative calorie" vegetable list and used the ones I like in the soup. After all, I'm the one who has to eat this...right? Today is soup - all I want - and fruits - all I want except bananas. I just had my first bowl and it's not TOO bad - I've certainly had better - but I've also had much worse.

Already I feel thinner! ha I'll post my progress - sans actual weight numbers! IF I can get down to my goal, I'll tell all - but until then, my lips are zipped!

Bon appetit! (ok, cuz - is that the way it's spelled? I'm certainly not French either, so I have to be checked on this stuff!)

Welcom, Cuz

2005-01-08T11:07:00.000-08:00

I just noticed my cousin made an entry onto my blog! Good for you, "Melva"! Maybe you will help me cheer this place up a little!

TA DA

2005-01-05T11:32:00.000-08:00

Ramona is now an official writing member on your blog.

January 1, 2005

2005-01-01T09:28:00.000-08:00

Well, the new year has begun, and I really don't feel any different today than I did yesterday. Or do I? It does feel a little like a fresh start is being made today. But then, I'll go back to work on Monday and things will probably still be the same there that they were before the holidays began. So - - we'll see what 2005 holds for all of us.

I spent New Year's eve talking on the phone with my cousin who lives on the East Coast (one of the Carolinas - I can never remember which one without looking it up in my address book). She was baby-sitting her granddaughter and had just gotten her to sleep when she called. It was nice, spending that time on the phone with her. It helped me to ease into the new year not feeling alone, and that was nice.

I'm going to do a few things around the house this morning, and then spend part of my afternoon with my most favorite movie, "Sleepless in Seattle." And then a little later with "You've Got Mail." OK - I admit it. I love chick flicks, and I'm HOOKED on the Tom Hanks/Meg Ryan movies. I have watched these two movies several times each - I know the lines by heart, almost! But they have happy endings, and I'm a sucker for happy endings. And then even later tonight, I plan to dig out "Chapter Two" from my video collection and watch it - AGAIN! So this is movie day for me and I'm looking forward to it.

I got out a plate of my Mother's china last night, fixed myself pasta and a salad and had a glass of wine to "celebrate" the end of 2004 and the expected beginning of 2005. Today at some point in time, I'll consider eating black-eyed peas for luck. Funny, that tradition. I NEVER used to eat black-eyed peas - I hated them, and I'm still not crazy about them yet. But then, a few years ago, John and I started making that a tradition. And since I started doing that, I lost my dad, my mom and my husband. Maybe that isn't such a great tradition after all...maybe I'll just have Swedish meatballs instead. That may be safer...

And so we start 2005. No football in this house today - only CHICK FLICKS all day long! I hope everyone enjoys their holiday and is looking forward to a happy, healthy and prosperous New Year!

2005

2004-12-31T11:15:00.000-08:00

Well, it's New Year's Eve, 2004. It's been a year - I can give 2004 that much credit, at least.

This is the first New Year's Eve I've probably ever spent entirely alone. My husband passed away in June. And yet, as I consider my loss, it is so totally small in comparison to what all has happened the past few days in Asia. What devastation and heartbreak this earthquake/tidal wave has caused. I cannot imagine the damage and the loss of lives all in one area.

I was reading my cousin's blog just now. I've been so busy working on my house this week that I've not kept up with the news. She said in her blog that people are saying that this didn't really happen or that these people deserve this travesty. How can anyone think such a thing - much less say it out loud? The next thing we hear, God will have caused this to happen. I don't think so. God is a God of love - He loves all his children, whether they are of the Christian, Jewish, Hindu, or Muslum faiths. He may not wish the people of this earth worship in certain ways - but He loves us all just the same. We are His creations - good or bad. But God allows us to have our own will and to make our own decisions regarding everything in our lives - right or wrong. Things happen. Yes, God may ALLOW them to happen, but He doesn't necessarily cause them to happen. This was a freak of nature - it's happened before, and according to geologists, etc., it will happen again. We do not live in a perfect world. It's been that way since Eve took a bite out of that apple.

If I thought this, I would have to think that God caused my husband to have that stroke. He didn't cause that to happen. That was caused by years of bad eating habits and smoking. While he didn't smoke the last 15 years or so of his life, he did smoke many years before he quit. That wasn't God's fault - it was John's. Of course, all the ill effects of smoking weren't known when John was young and started smoking.

For a long time I blamed the doctors who pushed us for him to have that heart surgery. But it wasn't their fault either - I don't think. While they could have done better to explain things to me after his stroke, I can't truly blame them - but they were my punching bag - and still are, to some extent. I don't want to blame my husband for this - but I want to blame someone, so the doctors were/are my best target. The fact is, "it is appointed a man once to die" - and June 9, 2004, 4:00 p.m. was John's appointed time. I think I knew that the minute I saw what the Hospice chaplain called a "vapor" when John's spirit left his body. And I knew he was gone - and I knew he went to be with the Lord. And while I miss him, I wouldn't bring him back to that broken body for anything in the world. He's in a far better place...

And so - I look forward to 2005 with a little bit of anticipation - yet a lot of sadness for this huge loss in my life. What does God have for me? Will starting a new year be the actual, official start to my new life? I can't think that it will end up being much different from what it has been these past few months after his death. But then again, it just may be. I'm trusting God - that's all I can do. I visited a church one Sunday morning in late summer, and I remember very little about the service. I was arguing with God, telling him I don't like this new life of mine - telling Him I didn't want to be or like being single again. And God, being the loving Father He is, wrapped His arms around me and impressed this into my heart and soul. "I know you don't like this. But you did everything you could possibly do these past years for your dad, your mother, and John. And now they are safe and well and happy here with Me. And while I was right there at your side while you were doing for them, I gave you strength to get through those major losses in your life. But now it's time for you to let them go. It's time for you to let Me do a new work in your life - to see what I have for you now." In other words, I suppose, "Let go and let God."

And so, I'm standing on His promises. I don't know if I'm ready yet to really start living again. But I do know I'm anxious to see what He's going to do. I don't have a clue as to what direction I want to take from this point on. I pray that He will show me - to put something in my heart that will give me a new interest or something to do that will bring me new adventure and friends. Maybe that's not it, either? I don't know. I just know I am in His hand and He is in total control. He has shown me His love and grace and led me through decisions I never could have made on my own these past few months. While I'm still clinging to the past, I think my fingers are slipping slightly and losing the grip they've had on it. Some days that grip is as tight as it was before John's stroke. Other days, it's relaxed and the sweet memories are just that - memories. Good memories. I continue to try to hold on because in a way I feel that if I do move on, I'm deserting John in some way. But yet, I know he wouldn't want me to live this solitary a life for the next however many years I have left on this earth. I heard the best quote from a most unlikely source - "Lethal Weapon 4." Mel Gibson's character was at the cemetery, talking to his dead wife, struggling with a decision of moving on and marrying the new woman in his life or holding on as tightly as he could to something that wasn't there any more. And one of the characters told him a story about something that changed in his life, the point being made that the love for that person who has gone on doesn't stop. And the love for the new person doesn't take the place of the love for his first wife. It's just different. That was like a light bulb going off in my head - and heart. My love for John will never die. NOTHING or no one can ever take his place in my heart. But there is room for someone or something else to move into my life - moving forward is not deserting John or his memory in any way - it's just different.

While losing John isn't what I would have chosen, it's here. I have to accept it, and I have, I think. And so, I continue to try to move on - to look ahead while keeping my memories tucked safely away in my heart and mind. To wonder where God is going to lead me and what He's going to provide. I have total faith and trust in Him. Why shouldn't I? He hasn't let me down yet!

Happy New Year to us all...

One Long Night with my Dogs

2004-12-10T01:05:00.000-08:00

This experience would ONLY happen to me - and it did - sometime in October, 2004.

I was really tired after working all day and then moving the rest of the loose stuff from Mom's (I was getting Mother's house ready to sell). So after I got home and ate and fed the critters and did a couple of things around the house, I let the dogs out and sat down at the computer to check e-mail. All of a sudden, Katy hit the door with sort-of an urgency about her, and when I went to let her in - - no Tyler. I let Katy in and went outside, opened the gate and called and called Tyler and finally she appeared from behind me. I figured she was in a dark spot in the yard and I just couldn't see her, dismissed it as that, and we came in the house. Well, around 10:45 or so, I laid down on the couch to watch tv for a few minutes to refresh and regroup and fell sound asleep - for about 3 hours. I woke up around 1:45 with the dogs wanting to go outside. I let them out and five minutes later I checked, remembering Tyler's mysterious disappearance earlier in the evening, and sure enough - this time she was GONE. I brought Katy in the house and got in the car to go look for Tyler. Couldn't find her anywhere. Here I am at almost 2:00 a.m. running around in the back yard calling the dog, then in the car searching for her. Well, I went down the street behind me, then circled around to see if she was in the alley. And guess what. We'd been having a lot of rain, and I got stuck in mud. So here, at 2:00 in the morning, is a frantic woman searching for her dog and her car is stuck in the mud - in an alley, no less. Dark. Oh my. So - I got out of the car and trekkeds all the way home down the alley, calling for Tyler. I bet the neighbors loved me!

I got home and went immediately to the computer to see if Jerry (my first cousin, twice removed) was online, and he was, so I IM'd him, but no answer. I called his room - no answer. I'm really on the edge of panic now - I've got a car stuck that I HAVE to get out of the alley - the trash truck was supposed to make their rounds the next morning, and it's against the law to block an alley. And no dog. I start praying for God to help and guide me - and looked around and Katy was standing in the front door looking at Tyler! She'd found her way home. Yay - thank You, God! One problem down - one to go.

I called the Police, thinking that they, in the spirit of protecting and assisting the public - especially a frantic woman in the middle of the night, would come pull me out. NOPE! They "don't do that." The operator told me to call a tow truck, so I called the one she recommended, and that guy was about as helpful as a stalk of corn and quoted me $125. Nope - don't panic. I called the Police again and asked for my granddaughter's husband. Of course, he was off duty that night. DRAT! So I got out the phone book and picked out another wrecking company and called them. That guy wasn't much friendlier, but he quoted me $100, I said okay, and he sent the guy out.

So here I am, walking down the street (instead of the alley) at 2:15 in the morning to get around to the alley where the car is, and bless him! Jerry called. He stayed on the phone with me until the tow truck driver got me out of my mess and I paid him and he and I went on our separate ways.

I got home and decided that I needed to pull the fencing from the corner of the yard - figuring that was how Tyler was getting out - getting up on all that fencing and jumping over. I pulled out about five sections of fence, then decided to let her out again to see how she did with that. Well....she didn't head for that area - she went to the other side of the yard where the yard light does not shine and poof! Disappeared. So I went over there and looked, and half of a picket was broken out of the fence, and Tyler was just small enough to get through it. I opened the gate to call her back in and Katy slipped out behind me and off they went. At least this time I saw the direction they took and could follow them.

I went around and got back in the car and got to the corner of the street behind me and Tyler stopped and got in the car immediately. But not Katy! She's FREE!!! Soooooo I followed her in the car all the way down the street, and two houses before she got to University Avenue (a really heavy trafficked street, even at 2:30 in the morning), she went to the bathroom, then she was satisfied and came to the car. Of course, she couldn't come to my side of the car - - noooooooo she had to go to the other side. So I got out of the car, closed the door, and caught my 2nd and ring fingers on my right hand in the door. I freed myself, got around to the other side of the car, opened the door for Katy and she jumped in and settled down like, "I thought you'd NEVER get here!" and we went home. I took them in the house one at a time...then I gave them a chewing out big time! (I'm just so sure they knew what I was saying!)

I went out and moved one of the smaller sections of fence where the hole in the fence was and propped it up with two big boards and let TYLER out again, since she's easier to catch, to be sure she couldn't get behind it or out again, and she couldn't, so we came in the house and went to bed - - 3:30 a.m.

Someone please tell me WHY I have dogs??

How Santa Emerged

2004-12-09T20:25:00.000-08:00

I'm reading the book, And the Angels Were Silent by Max Lucado. This book surrounds the last week of Jesus' life before His crucifixion. In Chapter 13, Lucado tells the history of St. Nicholas, and I'd like share with you what he wrote about how Santa Clause evolved:

"One legendary character, however, reflects more than a culture - he reflects the globe. He is known the world over. A face as easily recognizable in Nigeria as in Indiana. One immortal whose story has been written by and told to people in every land.

"If it is true that legends mirror a people, then this man is a mirror of the world. And we can learn much about ourselves by learning about him.

"Some call him Sinterklaas. Others Pere Noel or Papa Noel. He's been known as Hoteiosho, Sonnerklaas, Father Christmas, Jelly Belly, and to most English speakers, Santa Claus.

"His original name was Nicholas, which means victorious. He was born in A.D. 280 in what is now Turkey. He was orphaned at age nine when his parents died of a plague. Though many would think Santa majored in toy-making and minored in marketing, actually the original Nicholas studied Greek philosophy and Christian doctrine.

"He was honored by the Catholic church by being named Biship of Myra in the early fourth century. He held the post until his death on December 6, 343.

"History recognized him as a saint, but in the third century he was a bit of a troublemaker. He was twice jailed, once by the Emperor diocletian for religious reasons, the other for slugging a fellow bishop during a fiery debate. (So much for finding out who is naughty and nice.)

"Old Nick never married. But that's not to say he wasn't a romantic. He was best known for the kindness he showed to a poor neighbor who was unable to support his three daughters or provide the customary dowry so they could attract husbands. Old Saint Nicholas slipped up to the house by night and dropped a handful of gold coins through the window so the eldest daughter could afford to get married. He repeated this act on two other nights for the other two daughters.

"This story was the seed which, watered with years, became the Santa legend. It seems that every generation adorned it with another ornament until it sparkled more than a Christmas tree.

"The gift grew from a handful of coins to bags of coins. Instead of dropping them through the window, he dropped them down the chimney. And rather than land on the floor, the bags of coins landed in the girls' stockings which were hanging on the hearth to dry. (So that's were all this stocking stuff started.)

"The centuries have been as good to Nicholas's image as to his deeds. Not only have his acts been embellished, his wardrobe and personality have undergone transformations as well.

"As Bishop of Myra, he wore the traditional ecclesiastical robes and a mitered hat. He is known to have been slim, with a dark beard and a serious personality.

"By 1300 he was wearing a white beard. By the 1800s he was depicted with a rotund belly and an ever-present basket of food over his arm. Soon came the black boots, a red cape, and a cheery stocking on his head. In the late nineteenth century his basket of food became a sack of toys. In 1866 he was small and gnomish but by 1930 he was a robust six-footer with rosy cheeks and a Coca-Cola.

"Santa reflects the desires of people all over the world. With the centuries he had become the composite of what we want:

"A friend who cares enough to travel a long way against all odds to bring good gifts to good people.

"A sage who, though aware of each act, has a way of rewarding the good and overlooking the bad.

"A friend of children who never gets sick and never grows old.

"A father who lets you sit on his lap and share your deepest desires.

"Santa. The culmination of what we need in a hero. The personification of our passions. The expression of our yearnings. The fulfillment of our desires."

I didn't know the history of Santa Claus, and I'm sure there are lots of people who don't, so I thought it would be fun to share this bit of history with you as we move headlong and headstrong into the Christmas season.

The sign was wrong...

2004-12-08T20:45:00.000-08:00

As I was leaving church tonight, a woman was coming in the door as I was going out. I teased her that she was late, although all she was really doing was getting in out of the cold while she waited for her husband to go get the car. But it reminded me of a similar happening years ago. My first (ex) husband was stationed at the Air Force Base in Austin, and we were looking for a church to attend while we lived there. I found a small neighborhood church about two blocks from our apartment, and we decided to visit there for the Sunday evening service. The sign in front of the church said that services began at 7:00 p.m. When we got there, there was not one soul walking in. We figured we must be a little late, but we forged ahead. We got to the door, and as he reached out to open it for us, people started streaming out. The sign was obviously wrong - church had started at 6:00 p.m. - and ended PROMPTLY at 7:00! The first person out the door grabbed my hand, shook it, and then shook Tommy's hand and said, "It was so nice to have you visit with us tonight!" What could we do? We thanked them, told them we enjoyed the service very much, and went home. So much for their sign!

Learning to speak Chinese

2004-12-07T20:25:00.000-08:00

My husband was always opening his mouth when he shouldn't have - always with hysterical results.

One of the funniest stories - and I'm sure I'll share more as time goes on - happened like this:

We went to Chinese Kitchen to eat one night. As you walked in the door and got in line, there was a chalkboard with a "saying of the day" in Chinese with the interpretation following it. The phrase for this day was "Ni how ma?" pronounced "nee how ma" and means, "How are you?" He got to the front of the line, looked at the cashier and said, "Ni how ma?," pronouncing it "nigh how ma." The casher corrected him, "'nee' how ma?" and John looked at her with a blank look and said, "Si." One laugh.

Several nights later, we went to yet another restaurant to eat, and the waitress assigned to our table was Oriental. John looked at her and said, "Ni how ma?" - perfectly this time. She looked at this tall West Texan, her eyes wide, and said, "Oh - you speak-a Chinese" and just started chattering away in Chinese. John's face turned red and he started waving his hands in the air saying, "Wait a minute! Wait a minute! I don't understand you." She said, "Where you learn to speak Chinese?" To which he replied, rather sheepishly, "Off the chalkboard - down at the Chinese Kitchen!" Needless to say, he never tried that again.

My Cats

2004-12-07T18:36:00.000-08:00

Boo-Boo is an orange and white, short-haired cat who was a church cat stray that ended up being integrated into a family of three other cats. He's old now and it's hard to see him age so much. I'm sure he misses my husband because it was my husband who rescued him from the pound. Boo had been roaming around the church grounds where we both worked, and someone called the Animal Shelter to come get him. My husband started out after him, after being told by someone that they had seen him put into the truck, and here came Boo around the corner of the building. No one knows how he got out of the truck. But he came home with us and has been here ever since.

"Tex" is the other cat in this household. He's a young gray tiger-stripe - probably around three years old. He was a rescued cat, too, and is a sweetheart. Anything is fine with him. He gives Boo the respect of the older cat in the household and plays with the dogs. When we took him to the vet to have him spayed - well, you get the picture. The vet thought it was so funny that we took a male in to have him spayed. It was a big joke around the office when we went to get him and bring him home, sans surgery. But the joke was on them. When we got him home, they had shaved him for a hysterectomy!

My cats complete this household. I give credit to my dogs for being more company than the cats are because cats are just independent, not-as-demanding creatures. But my house would be empty without their presence.

My Dogs

2004-12-07T18:35:00.000-08:00

I have two dogs - Katy and Tyler. We got Katy as a puppy - she was 6 weeks old. She's half German Shepherd and half Black Lab, and is probably one of the smartest dogs I've ever been around. She has shown me tricks I never taught her. She's gorgeous - shiny, slick and solid black, except for some white that is beginning to appear around her mouth. She's not getting gray - she's still almost a puppy - only 2-1/2 years old. She's still just developing...I guess. She was named after Katy, Texas, where my "oldest" friend lives - I call her my oldest friend because I've known her longer than anyone except my family members, since we were both two or three years old.

Tyler is a rescued dog. I'm not sure what breed or mix she is - certainly some Jack Russell, but whatever else is anyone's guess. She may have some sort of hound in there - possibly bassett because of all the skin around her neck and face, and her bark just sounds like a hound dog's bark. She's funny, and so loving. She doesn't act smart, but in her own way she's very intelligent. She was named after Tyler, Tx, because we decided when we got her that since Katy was named after a Texas town, the next dog should be, too. And Tyler fits her personality perfectly. She's tan and white and does deer leaps all over the yard. And she responds to things happening on television, too. The other night she heard a baby crying on a tv show I was watching. She did her deer leap across the den and got right up to the speaker on the tv and just listened, tilting her head from one side to the other. I couldn't help but laugh at her antics.

I don't know what I would have done without the company of my dogs during this time of grief in my life at the loss of my husband. They've been with me every step of the way and have provided more love and more company that I could have ever hoped for. They've been true gifts of God without a doubt.

The Flu Shot/Vaccine

2004-12-07T18:33:00.000-08:00

I heard on the news tonight that we are going to be receiving more flu vaccine. I'm so glad that President Bush is correcting his mistake! Well? According to Kerry, the shortage of the flu vaccine was all W's fault. Could you believe Kerry made that accusation? I couldn't. I was watching the debate and all of a sudden, the flu vaccine shortage was an issue to be dealt with - all Bush's fault. Unbelievable. Never mind that the U.S. pharmaceuticals used to make this vaccine and sell it practically at cost so that the American people could have affordable protection against a potentially deadly illness. But what happened? Seems John Edwards, Kerry's running mate, represented someone who sued the pharmaceutical companies for some outlandish figure and WON, which made the pharmaceuticals shut down production of American-made flu vaccine because they lost so much money in the lawsuit that it wasn't conducive to continuing to make it here in this country. Now we have to go overseas to get it. Someone tell me, please, HOW this is President Bush's fault???

First Cousin Twice Removed

2004-12-07T13:31:00.000-08:00

Today is my cousin's birthday - well, he's actually my first cousin twice removed. At one point in my life we would have called him my "second cousin" or is it third? - he's the grandson of my first cousin. But he prefers "first cousin twice removed," and that's probably correct. Anyway, he's 21 today. I tried every way in the world I could think of to tie his birthday to Pearl Harbor Day, but it just didn't connect. The fact that he was born on Pearl Harbor Day just doesn't automatically tie the two events together, I suppose. I keep trying to remember what it was like to be 21. I spent my 21st birthday at Disneyland in California. Does that mean we never get too old to enjoy fantasy? I hope not!

My mother was born on April 21 - San Jacinto Day. Her birthday and that holiday never tied in together either. But we always teased her that the banks closed on her birthday.

Happy birthday, Cuz! I hope you have many more.

The blog around the corner...

2004-12-07T11:57:00.000-08:00

My late husband used to say, "I think everyone is entitled to my opinion!" We always laughed about that, but when it came down to it, he really was serious! He was probably one of the smartest men I ever knew - and the most opinionated. I wish he were here now to share his opinions again. He passed away last June, 2004, and even now my head spins thinking how this world has changed so fast just since then! Well, maybe it hasn't changed - it's just that certain people have become more outspoken about so many issues. I'm sure he would have plenty to say about things as they've unfolded after this last Presidential election.

My cousin has a blog. Hers is funny and upbeat, yet she addresses some serious stuff too. I hadn't even considered a blog until this past Presidential campaign and blogging seemed to grow so much in popularity. So now I have one too. I don't know what direction I'll take with this yet - I just started thinking about this last night, and here I am today, typing into my very own blogger window! So now I need to gather my thoughts and address some of the things I'd like to say. This is only the beginning...